When we first started sleeping together again, I will admit that I had back a little. As much as I could, at least, with Oliver touching me. I didn't want to remind him of that lost time and ruin the moment, didn't want him to worry about feeling inadequate. I spent so much time overthinking things like that, and maybe it helped. Maybe it didn't.

All I know is that we've come far enough now that I no longer feel like that's necessary. Oliver is aware that I am more experienced than him now, more knowledgeable about sex and relationships. He knows that I learned all of this with him and maybe sometimes that knowledge will sting us both, but we can't change it. What I can do is be myself, this better version of Elio Perlman, and trust that he'll love me all over again.

His cock is heavy on my tongue, and for the first time since he's been back, I relax my throat tilt my chin to take him further, swallowing around the head of his cock as it sinks into my throat. My eyes water and I breathe out through my nose, looking up at him as my hand falls away from his cock to slide up his stomach instead.