For Elio

[latermaybe]

With the end of the year closing in, I found myself anxious to close out the semester. I was distracted. I knew my colleagues could sense it, my students restless in classes that had lost focus. My writing had suffered, but it had never been something I was particularly proud of anyway. My heart wasn't in it. I wanted to be home.

I was afraid to go home.

I was compelled to be with Elio whenever possible, but his grief was consuming. I'd watched it whittle away at him, the cracks that Purge Night had left in him shattering the day that Jamie left, leaving behind the raw nerves beneath. Old wounds opened by the loss of his parents. The loss of me, over and over. I wanted to help him, but neither of us knew how I was meant to do that.

I stayed out for a few hours with some friends from the university, playing poker in the basement of their campus housing. I'd left early, guiltily, even though I'd told Elio where I'd be. I brought home a bottle of expensive wine and felt foolish. I loved him so much, and had never been so helpless.

Key in the door, I blew out a breath, braced myself, and stepped inside.

Comments

[latermaybe]

"Okay, okay," I said, laughing breathlessly, "I'm... a decent cook." Then, I added, "I'm a quick study." A lot of things I tried, I was good enough at to fake proficiency. That, I knew, was a talent.

But most importantly, "You think I'm amazing, and that has to mean something."

[speakordie]

As Oliver indulges me, pink cheeked and laughing, I stare down at him with a besotted grin on my face. I love him so, so much.

And then he goes and says something so romantic, and I’m reminded all over again just how lucky it is that he loves me too.

“That’s a pretty good answer,” I murmur fondly. As promised, I slide three fingers back inside him, pressing in deep and seeking out his prostate, massaging firmly as I press kisses to his cheek and chin. “Good job, Oliver.”

[latermaybe]

"Ah, God," I cried out, bearing down on the pressure of his fingertips. I laughed roughly, my body rocking mindlessly against against him, hands grasping at his shoulders.

Through gritted teeth, I said, "I want you in me when I come." I met his eyes, pleading, "Elio, please."

[speakordie]

"Who says you're only going to come once?" I say in a low purr, sounding just a little smug as he grabs at me. Still, he seems close enough that I ease up just a bit, fingering him without such direct pressure on his prostate. For now.

"I want to make you come like this," I tell him with a soft, playful pout, kissing the tip of his nose as his cock leaks against the inside of my forearm. "And then I'll fuck you until you come again. However long it takes."

My fingers find that spot again, pressing in as my other hand sweeps the hair back from his sweaty forehead. "You'll let me have that, won't you?"

Dirty pool, maybe. But I know how to get what I want.

[latermaybe]

"Fuck, Elio," I said in a rush of breath, so turned on that I could hardly think. I nodded, humming my agreement, throat clicking as I swallowed thickly. "Whatever. Oh, God, yeah. Whatever you want."

Chuckling again, I was able to pry my death grip from his shoulder and lift a hand to his face.

"However long it takes? You sound pretty... pretty confident."

[speakordie]

“Who says I’m only going to come once?” I say in a teasing voice, fully entranced by how this beautiful man reacts to my touch. I’ve been so busy mourning all that I’ve lost that I haven’t taken the time to truly appreciate all that I have.

“And we also have toys,” I add as if it’s an afterthought, thumbing at his brow as I massage his prostate firmly, leaving his cock untouched. I want it just like this.

“Come on, come for me,” I murmur as I press a little more firmly, fingers moving a little more quickly. “You can do it, pesca.”

[latermaybe]

"Oh fuck," I said, keeping my eyes on his for as long as I could, but the press of his fingers and his low, commanding voice was all too much. Going tense, I threw my head back, mouth dropping open on a silent cry. Then, like a string finally snapping, I came with a strangled groan, a tangle of sounds that almost made up his name.

It seemed to go on and on, thighs trembling, making a mess between us, until I gripped his wrist and panted, "Fuck. Fuck, okay. Okay."

[speakordie]

Honestly, I could almost come just from watching him. My cock twitches eagerly in my sweats and I groan low in my throat, murmuring praise as he comes so forcefully.

“Good job, you’re perfect,” I tell him, easing up on the pressure as I work him through it, only stopping when he grabs at my hand. “Okay, it’s okay.”

My fingers slide out of him and I curl my hand around the inside of his thigh, sliding up and down soothingly as I kiss the corner of his mouth, bottom teeth resting against his chin as I take a deep breath, inhaling the scent of him. I feel at peace, at ease for the first time in so long, and I relax against him, hard cock pressed to his bare hip through the thin cotton of my pants. “You’re amazing.”