latermaybe | For Elio

For Elio

As summer drew to a close, the new semester gearing up and the anniversary of my third year in Darrow approaching, I couldn't help but think back on my conversation with Sihyun at Pride. My reaction to the news of his engagement has nagged at the back of my mind since the Spring. Even more so, I was rattled by my later admission that the planning of a wedding, and the stress and attention it would bring, was something I instinctively shrank from.

It made me quiet and contemplative, and while I could hide such things in the first weeks of the semester, I knew now that Elio would've noticed.

So, tonight, I made tea. I bought a box of pastries we both liked. Our dinner was small, intimate, as it usually was. Comfortable. Content. I was happy, and making a change felt unwise, but I knew we were both waiting for the other to do something. Say something.

And it needed to be me.

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"Alright, alright," I soothed, kissing the inside of his thigh and climbing up his body. Slipping my fingers free of him, I replaced them with my cock, settling deep in one smooth slide. Panting out a breath, I took a brief moment to find my bearings. Then, gripping his thighs, I settled into a firm, steady rhythm, watching his face to find the perfect angle.

"Is this what you want, bello?"

When Oliver’s cock is filling me up once again, I let out a sharp cry and arch my back, tossing my arms up over my head as I stare up at Oliver’s face. His big hands are digging into my thighs, pulling me back onto his cock as the muscles in his arms and chest shift with the effort, and it’s stunning. I can’t believe that I get to have this night after night.

“Yeah,” I pant out, pushing up onto one elbow so I can reach out and put a hand on his arm. My ring sparkles in the dim light and I smile up at him, hair spilling into my face. “This is what I want and I want it forever.”

The angle changes so that he strikes my prostate and I shout, gripping at his arm and curling my toes as my body goes tense. I try to hold back, desperate for just a few more seconds, but I come with a cry of his name, hips jerking as I fall back against the bed and shoot across my belly, all the way up to my chest. “Oliver.”

I fucked him through it, slowing down enough to drag it out for just a little while longer, knowing that he craved having me linger inside of him in the moments after.

"Elio," I echoed back, my forehead resting against his, "Elio."

After a valiant effort to hold off, I succumbed to my own orgasm moments later, my hand on his face and my eyes locked on his. I cried out, shuddering through it as I filled him up, our bodies locked together as I all but collapsed on his chest.

Oliver drags my orgasm out, keeping waves of pleasure rolling over me, cresting again and again until I can hardly stand it. My body goes rigid and I cry out sharply, fingernails digging into his back as I cling at him desperately. Just when it almost gets to be too much, Oliver's cock goes impossibly hard inside and me and he comes, face contorted beautifully as we struggle to maintain eye contact.

Our bodies go lax at the same time, both of us collapsing against the bed and holding onto each other, dragging in deep breaths. He's heavy on top of me, but it's a welcome weight and I curl my arms around him, dragging one hand down his sweat-slick back.

"Fuck, Oliver," I pant out against his cheek, knees falling open to the side. "Oh, wow."

"Yeah," I agreed, smiling dazedly into the curve of his neck. We were so entangled it was easy to believe we could occupy the same body.

I kissed his jaw, then his cheek. Then, gathering him close, I shifted us over onto our sides, taking my weight off of his chest while keeping bodies locked together.

"Husbandly duties, huh?"

Oliver rolls us and I groan, using the last of my strength to cling to him so he doesn't slip out of me. We settle against the bed, our heads on one pillow, limbs tangled together as our hearts start to slow. I stay quiet, eyes closed as he presses soft, slow kisses to my face, and then laugh softly and crack my eyes open to look at him.

"Yeah, you know," I begin, smiling and reaching up to push his hair back from his face. "Coming home to a home cooked meal and then getting a blowjob. That kind of thing."

I give him a teasing smile, scrunching my nose and putting my hand on his face as my expression evens out to one more serious. "Making you as happy as I possibly can."

"Meeting me at the door with a chilled martini?" I suggested playfully, kissing the wrinkled bridge of his nose.

"It might just be the easiest job you'll ever have." I was teasing him, but that didn't make the sentiment any less true. "You already make me happy. Every day, Elio."

"Oh, no. I'm sorry, you misunderstood," I tease, smiling and stroking his cheek. "You'd be the one cooking the meals and giving the blowjobs."

Really, we're pretty good at sharing chores. I will admit that Oliver probably does more than his fair share, but I've gotten a lot better than I was. For the first few months after Oliver disappeared, I lived in absolute mess. Eventually, I had to learn to really take care of myself for the first time in my life.

"I'll make you all the martinis you want," I assure him, nudging his nose with mine and giving him a soft, lingering kiss. "God, Oliver. Me too. You're the best thing to ever happen to me.

"I'll have to teach you how to make a good one," I teased him, giving his hip a playful pinch. Eventually, we parted, settling with our limbs tangled. Breathing the same air. Smelling of each other. I was never happier than I was in these quiet moments with him.

"You changed my life," I agreed, forehead resting against his and holding him securely in my arms. Meeting him reshaped the future I imagined for myself, and though I'd fought against him in the beginning, I knew it was all for the better.

“Hey, at least I give good head,” I volley back, smiling as we settle together. “If you had to choose a talent for me to have, I bet you’d pick that one.”

Eventually, we may get up and use the restroom and brush our teeth, but first we’ll bask in the afterglow, hold each other and talk, maybe doze a little. They’re perfect moments in time and I wouldn’t trade them for anything.

I stare at him until he brings our heads together and then I close my eyes, fingers carding through the soft hair at the nape of his neck. His low voice rolls over me like honey, warm and sticky sweet, and my heart thumps euphorically in my chest.

“I’m very glad that I did,” I tell him, gently rubbing my nose back and forth across his. “You changed me. In a good way, I promise.”

Laughing, I said, "That's far from your greatest talent, bello." I kissed him, lingering, lazy. "But you do give amazing head."

Smiling as he brushed his nose against mine, I hummed contentedly. "I hope so."

I worried, even now. Was I good for him? Would his life have been better if I hadn't crashed into it. I had to hope all my fears were wrong.

“You know what they say,” I drawl out, licking my lips in a way that’s meant to amuse him, rather than turn him on. “Practice, practice, practice.”

I pull back enough to look him in the eye, because I know Oliver tends to overthink things, one of them being his positive influence on my life. I’ll tell him over and over again, until I’m blue in the face.

“Oliver, it was like I was seeing in black and white before you came along,” I tell him, smiling warmly and stroking his cheek. “And now? It’s all screaming color. You make everything better and I’m so proud to be your husband. So fucking proud.”

Laughing, I agreed, "We both get plenty of that."

He pulled back, his expression sobering, and my smile softened, fingers brushing softly through his hair.

"Fiancé," I teased him, "One step at a time." Kissing his forehead, I added, "You should put that in the vows."

“Okay, okay. Fiancé,” I reply with a warm laugh, letting my hand glide up and down his flank as I stare at him, utterly content. “Baby, I’m gonna write amazing vows. You’ll cry, I bet.”

I grin at him, but the comment is meant to let him know that I don’t see this as a repeat. I don’t plan on recycling any part of our last wedding. This is something new, and we’ll celebrate it as such.

“Hmm, where should we honeymoon?” I drawl out sarcastically. “I hear South Darrow is nice this time of year. Can’t rule out North Darrow, though.”

"I don't doubt that," I admitted, laughing softly as I settled my hand against the side of his neck, our faces so close that our noses were nearly touching.

"Right here. We'll take off a week, and we won't leave this apartment. How does that sound?"

"Okay, that does sound pretty good," I admit, practically giggling with happiness as I press my body against his. I give him a kiss, and then another, losing myself in thought as I lose myself in his lips. Eventually I pull back and let my eyes flutter open, smiling hopefully as I press my hand to his chest.

"Then maybe after that," I begin quietly, biting my lip and moving my fingers to touch his pendant. "We can look for a new place to live together?"

I love our little home above the books, but I think that it's safe to say we've outgrown it.

"You're finally tired of living on top of each other?" I teased him, tracing the curve of his eyebrow with my thumb.

"We could do that," I agreed, tucking his hair behind his ear and kissing the bridge of his nose. "Where were you thinking?"

“No, no,” I reply with a chuckle, smiling warmly as he touches my face. “But you deserve an office, and I deserve a music room. And I want a big jet tub, and a backyard.”

My throat goes a little tight as I think about having this conversation with him before, and our jokes about wanting a tub. He doesn’t remember it, and I will always get a little sad when I think of these things, but it’s easy enough to move past it, especially when he kisses my nose. It reminds me that even though he’s missing some memories, he’s still the same person. My Oliver.

“I did like being out by the lake,” I tell him, kissing his chin as my hand glides up his back. “I liked being out of the city.”

"A backyard, hm?" I mused, giving him a knowing look, "And why might that be?"

We'd spoken briefly about children, but it was more likely that he wanted it to entertain. Still, I could admit to liking the idea of starting a family with him, even if the risks of starting one in this place worried me.

"We're not moving into the same house," I warned playfully. We needed to make this our own, and that meant we couldn't retrace the steps he'd taken with me before, in a life I couldn't remember.

"Parties and outdoor sex, obviously," I reply with a smile, and I shake my head at his adamant warning. As much as I loved that house, and our life in it, I wouldn't want to live there again. We need something new.

"We couldn't even if we wanted to. Steve and Maeve live there now," I remind him, reaching up to card my fingers soothingly through his hair. "It's their turn to be happy there now."

Leaning in, I give him another soft kiss, nipping playfully at his bottom lip. "Every home that I've ever loved has been near the water."

"So, we'll start there," I agreed, smiling into his playful kiss. Chuckling softly, I said, "It has been a while since we've had a grassy hill to roll around on."

Pushing back his hair, I kissed his brow, thinking about warm nights under the stars and sunny afternoons tangled up together. That was something I could definitely get used to.

“And I want you to carry me over the threshold,” I say into the kiss, chuckling as I crawl on top of him, thighs spread and bracketing his hips. “Maybe I’ll get a garter and you can take it off with your teeth.”

I put my hands on his chest and push myself into more of a seated position, then reach up and push my hair back from my face as I stare down at him with an easy smile.

“You’re so goddamn beautiful,” I tell him, reaching down to trace my fingertip down the side of his face. “And all mine. How’d I get so lucky?”

"Are you planning on wearing a skirt?" I teased, folding my arms behind my head and looking up at him with a playful smirk.

"Your father needed a graduate assistant," I answered offhandedly, barely stifling a grin.

“No, that’ll be for when we’re alone,” I reply with a grin, watching in fascination as he stretches out below me. He looks so good, all flushed and fucked out, relaxed and satisfied. Happy.

“Mm, he asked my opinion, you know,” I say lazily, dragging my fingertips along his hairy chest. It feels like so long ago now, and I suppose it was. “I saw your picture and I think a part of me knew even then. I wanted it to be you so badly.”

"So, I'm lucky that I took a good picture," I laughed, one hand slipping from under my head to settle against his hip.

"If you do decide to wear that skirt," I teased him, trailing my fingertip down his strong thigh, "you've got the legs for it."

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